Did you watch CNN’s Western Republican Presidential Debate in October? Don’t worry, this is only a test.

Questions

1. Who said “I’m running for office for Pete’s sake! I can’t have illegals working on my property!” ?

2. When prompted to stay on topic, which candidate told the moderator “You get to ask the questions and I get to answer them like I want to” ?

3. Who “work[s] on the assumption that government is not really capable of managing anything, so you shouldn’t put that much trust in the government” ?

4. Who clarified flip-flopping by saying “I supported the concept of TARP, but then when this administration used discretion and did a whole lot of things that the American people didn’t like, I was then against it.” ?

5. Who would be “really worried” if another candidate claimed that nothing in that person’s faith affected their judgement, asking “how can you have judgement if you have no faith, and how can I trust you with power if you don’t pray?” ?

6. Regarding immigration, who believes that “there is a very real issue with magnets in this country” and that “anchor babies… is an issue we don’t have to deal with with the Constitution… we can deal with legislatively.” ?

7. Who claims that “there’s a lot that’s going on that’s eroding our religious freedom, that’s eroding the traditional values of marriage and family…” and that “… we keep running roughshod over the fact that the family in America and faith in America is being crushed by the courts and by our government, and someone needs to stand up for those institutions.” ?

8. Who claims that “we have enough weapons to blow up the world 20-25 times. We have more weapons than all the other countries put together essentially, and we want to spend more and more. You can’t cut a penny? This is why we’re at an impasse.” ?

9. Who believes a “virtual defense zone” with “strategic fencing”, “a lot of boots on the ground” and “predator drones” is the best way to defend the US-Mexico border?

10. Who thinks that “we should look to Iraq and Libya to reimburse [the United States] for part of what we have done to liberate these nations.” ?

11. Who claims the US “has an administration that is killing jobs because they want to move us to a green energy” (sic) ?

12. Who “would absolutely not cut one penny out of military spending” because “the first order of the federal government… is [to] protect us.” ?

13. Who explains that “the idea that a bunch of historically illiterate politicians who have no sophistication about national security trying to make a numerical decision about the size of the defense budget tells you everything you need to know about the bankruptcy of the current elite in this country, in BOTH parties… The fact is, to say ‘I’m going to put the security of the United States up against some arbitrary number’ is suicidally stupid.” ?

14. Who believes the solution to the nuclear waste problem is to “let the free market work, and on that basis we let the places that are geologically safe according to science, and where the people say the deal’s a good one, will decide where we put this stuff…” (sic) ?

15. Who thinks Occupy Wall Street protesters should instead be “out in front of the White House taking out their frustrations” because “Wall Street didn’t put in failed economic policies” and their anger is “directed at the wrong place.” ?

16. Who believes that “rights don’t come in bunches, they come as individuals, they come from a god…” ?

17. Who disagrees that “the country is founded on the individual” and believes instead that “the basic building block of a society is not the individual, it’s the family– that’s the basic unit of society.” ?

18. Who claims to be the first candidate to sign a written pledge stating “by a date certain I will build a double-walled fence… along the entire border” [between the US and Mexico] ?

19. Who claims to have “always been against amnesty” for illegal immigrants ?

Answers

(notes refer to YouTube videos entitled “Republican Debate October 18”

Parts 1-7 + time of quote)

1. Mitt Romney (PT3 11:20)

2. Rick Perry (PT4 7:58)

3. Ron Paul (PT5 9:20)

4. Herman Cain (PT5 4:40)

5. Newt Gingrich (PT5 14:20)

6. Michele Bachmann (PT4 9:35)

7. Rick Santorum (PT4 10:25)

8. Ron Paul (PT6 11:00)

9. Rick Perry (PT3 13:55)

10. Michele Bachmann (PT7 0:30)

11. Ron Paul (PT4 8:42)

12. Rick Santorum (PT6 9:30)

13. Newt Gingrich (PT6 5:30)

14. Mitt Romney (PT5 0:00)

15. Herman Cain (PT5 6:49)

16. Ron Paul  (PT4 11:30)

17. Rick Santorum (PT3 10:33)

18. Michele Bachmann (PT4 0:06)

19. Rick Perry (PT4 10:25)

I stumbled upon the New Hampshire debates live on the CNN website last night. I couldn’t resist taking notes and sorting the candidates in order of preference. Notice my list has an inverse relationship with probability of winning the nomination. Note also that my opinions are not supported by research.

1. Ron Paul
http://www.ronpaul.com/
“Our national security is not enhanced by our presence [in Afghanistan]”. The only candidate to mention the cost of war and the “military-industrial complex”. Genuine, not schmoozy. I’m just surprised he didn’t explain how gay marriage relates to the Federal Reserve, since everything else does. Maybe next time.

2. Herman Cain
http://www.hermancain.com/
Charismatic, sometimes stumbly. In it “for the children and grandchildren”. When asked why he said he wouldn’t be comfortable with Muslims in his administration, he said he was originally thinking only of the “Muslims who want to kill us”. Not a smooth answer, but likely good enough for Republicans.

3. Newt Gingrich
http://www.newt.org/
Smarter than most and not schmoozy. Wasn’t acting like he had to prove anything. To my surprise, he used the words “humane” and “solution” in reference to immigration and ranted against media and politicians who frame complex questions with simple, polarized options. (Note the awesome domain name).

4. Rick Santorum
http://www.ricksantorum.com/
Bland, ordinary terrorism-means-we-need-military-bases-around-the-world-to-be-safe kind of Republican. After reading about past controversies on Wikipedia this morning, I now wish I’d paid more attention to his response on the gay marriage question, which 5 out of 7 of these candidates believe should be decided by a federal not a state law, though each ranted profusely about the federal government getting involved in absolutely everything else. Still a mystery to me. (Note his website ranks 9th in Google when searching on his name– a very bad sign.)

5. Michele Bachmann
http://www.michelebachmann.com/
Like Palin, but with a brain. Fluent about taxes, economic issues, and in defense of the Tea Party. Stuttery on gay marriage and unconvincing on foreign affairs. Keen competitor for the Most Pro-Life award, which I didn’t know people compiled CVs for. Less so than Pawlenty, but occasionally broke out into biography. Babbly and sometimes nervous-sounding.

6. Mitt Romney
http://www.mittromney.com/
Belligerent, yet with strong undertones of ass-kissing. Long-winded and babbly, yet smoothly schmoozy. Leading the sub-competition for Who Hates Obama The Most.

7. Tim Pawlenty
http://www.timpawlenty.com/
A smug, babbling, fear-mongering, ass-kissing egotist. Used the debate as a platform for biographical monologues. After claiming Palin was “qualified to be President”, I’ve categorized him as both the supreme brown noser as well as clinical idiot. He is pure politician, in the cynical understanding of the term.